


Back to Black

by meepmorpperaltiago



Category: Brooklyn Nine Nine
Genre: paaaaiiiinnnnnnn, that’s it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-04-23 23:51:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19161532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meepmorpperaltiago/pseuds/meepmorpperaltiago
Summary: Aka an au where the squad went to jail at the end of Suicide Squad





	1. Jake

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter is going to focus on a different squad member’s experience – enjoy the pain!! Thanks so much to @397bartonstreet for your help looking over this chapter

It doesn’t fully hit him until he’s back in a cold dark cell. As he was dragged back, back down into the darkness again by ice cold hands, there was a surreal edge to the situation, a strange twinge that half convinced him that he would wake up at any moment, that he would be back in the warm comfort of home, of his apartment, of Amy’s embrace. Now, everything he felt then comes flooding back. Now, he sobs. 

15 years each, just like last time. 

But this is so much worse than last time. This time, it’s not just him and Rosa. This time, they’re all locked away. He thinks of his family, but Amy especially. The fear that had flared up her beautiful eyes from the moment they entered the holding cell. The way she had looked at him, as if she were more afraid for him than for herself. He imagines how scared she must be now. It’s a jarring image, picturing someone as sweet as Amy in the tough world of prison. He wonders if there’s a library where she is. He tries not to think of the future they’d planned together, of the children that they’d finally agreed to have just days before they were arrested. If he does, bile rises up in his throat.   
He’s also wracked with guilt. All of this, this entire nightmare, came from his stupid, stupid plan. And now only Holt can save them. As much as he loves Holt, one man who’s been demoted to a beat cop being on their case means they’re not likely to have the lucky escape they got last time. 

He keeps his head down this time, makes sure that he stays in protective custody. He doesn’t do any drugs or cross any gangs. He gets up, he eats, he cleans in the kitchen, he sleeps. He gets visits from his mother and from Gina and tries to avoid looking in their eyes. He has access to a phone, which he shares with his cellmate (who isn’t a cannibal this time) and he holds onto the precious moments where he can hear Amy’s voice. He calls the others too and tries to ignore the defeated tone in all of their voices. Tries not to think about how he may not see their faces again for 15 years. 

The months of monotonous routine pass and slowly what little hope he had is worn down. A year in, a light goes out.   
But then a week later it starts to flicker again, when he sees the warden approaching, just like last time. He doesn’t want to believe that it’s true at first. Doesn’t want to believe that Holt actually managed to get them out, managed to save them again. Even when he’s back in his own clothes, waiting to be released, he doesn’t want to bring back the hope that had ebbed away over the past year. 

It doesn’t feel real until Amy is in his arms again. They barely keep their hands off each other as the whole squad are reunited. When he looks in her eyes, he recognises the trauma that he’s now experienced twice. But he knows they’ll be ok. They’ll all be ok, now that they’re together again.


	2. Rosa

She tries not to think about what came before during the trial. She fiercely blocks out any thoughts of the future too, instead filling her head with empty reassurances. It’ll be ok. It can’t happen again. They can’t be this unlucky. She tries not to think about ice cold bars, of empty endless nights, of dark thoughts she’s only shared with Jocelyn. 

Jocelyn.

She tries to push out any thoughts of the future they’d been taking tentative steps towards too. 

This time there aren’t even any surprise witnesses. There‘s no salvation, even for a second. She doesn’t know if that’s better or worse. 

She treads on eggshells this time, memories of riots and of solitary sitting deep within her. She sits in silence, talking to no one, not even her strangely overly friendly cellmate and soon a deep loneliness sets in. 

Her parents visit and she’s relieved to see pity in their eyes instead of shame. Still, the conversation is stilted, awkward. She jokes that they should be pretty good at this by now. Then the silence continues. 

She often wonders how the rest of the squad are doing – she won’t admit that she was more worried for all of them than she was for herself. She tries to ignore the fear in their voices when she’s finally able to speak to each of them, tries not to think about what they’re experiencing. 

The voice in her head reasoning that they’re innocent and that Holt will be able to prove it slowly gets quieter and quieter. She doesn’t even realise until late into the night that it’s been a year. Until one day, when she’s finally told she’s going home. 

When she gets out, she feels a deep insecurity that cracks her cold exterior. A feeling that she got dragged back into hell once, that it could very easily happen again. But she’s surrounded by her squad and the woman she’s pretty sure she loves – she knows she’ll have baggage to deal with later, but in this moment, she also knows that, with time and love, she’ll be ok.


	3. Amy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated this chapter! And yes I did 100% steal the chicken thing from the most Iconic episode of Orange is the New Black – thanks so much to @397bartonstreet on Tumblr for all your help with this chapter

This isn’t like last time. 

Obviously she knew it wouldn’t be. Last time she was in a place like this, she was play acting, reciting brainstormed lines, trying to mask the terror she felt. It’s nothing compared to what she feels now. 

Last time she had a handler watching over her. Now, she’s alone. And her entire future, so carefully planned out, has disappeared like a thin wisp of smoke. 

She’d give anything to have Jake watching over her now like he did then, as annoying as it was at the time. She calls him whenever she can, trying not to think about what he must be going through, being back in the system that had haunted him for so long. She misses him desperately, feels him in everything, her mind constantly wandering to a fantasy reunion that she knows is probably far too long into the future. She wonders how they will have both transformed when they finally are reunited and then pushes that thought out of her head before it consumes her entirely. 

She spends most of her time when she’s not calling Jake in the library, trying to throw herself into every fantasy world she can find to try and escape her awful, awful reality. 

She thinks she’s hallucinating when she sees a chicken outside one day. She casually mentions it to a few people at lunch, having no idea that the chicken is a prison wide legend and has to sheepishly tell Jake over the phone that she accidentally started a riot over poultry. Luckily as it was entirely accidental she’s not punished and that’s about as dramatic as her prison experience gets. 

She spends the rest of her time desperately trying to avoid crossing the murderers and gang members and robbers that surround her. She’s surprised that she doesn’t get too much hassle for being a former cop, but she’s grateful and so doesn’t question it. Through it all,  
she still holds on to an unshakable faith that Holt will find a way to prove their innocence someday. And just over a year later, he does. 

As she’s finally reunited with her husband, she knows that her endless daydreams could never hold a candle to the real thing.


End file.
